Workaholism

I don't really want to talk.  Or cook. Or write. Or wipe noses or floors, do the dishes, play "choo choo", read stories, sing songs, go to playgroups or to the park.  I do not want to make play dough or cake or dinner or lunch or breakfast or second breakfast.  I do not want to pay the bills or listen to the crying.  I do not want to give baths or brush hair or change nappies or tackle the mountain of laundry.

The interuptions that come at 5 minute intervals send me snappy and on edge.  I wish I could say that the 6,000 lego spaceship of the day was more interesting than a new design or the need of a 10 month old to be held all day long was as fufilling.

But, its not.  They aren't.  

I love them.  I love their little noses and blue eyes.  I love their funny laughs and their messy hair.  The way Georgia says "Thchoo -Thchoo" instead of "Choo Choo".  The way Ellis says "I got it from my brain" when congratulated on a good idea.  The way Theo gives open mouth kisses on demand.  I love them so much...

But the constant pull is there.  I want to be with them, but I want to be working or not even working, just doing something else. Something that is wholly me and not someone else.

And then, that means that I end up doing most things badly.  Half-attention and stolen moments are not the way to do anything well from designs to laundry.

And so today, I will not be working.  I will put it down and draw a line under it so that the talking, cooking, writing, wiping of noses and floors, doing of the dishes, playing "choo choos", the washing of laundry and all of the other things I *need* to do can get done well and without shouting or crying...

...plus we've run out of underwear.

 

*pictured: Texere Chunky Wool

Comments

[SAP users email list]

Wow !! Nice Colors of Sluggish.

[Not So Granny]

hear, hear! I know the feeling well. On the whole I think mummy job satisfaction was higher before I started up designing. But overall life satisfaction is higher now I guess. I'm hoping the balance is to be found by having regular slots when I know I can work uninterrupted. then I can focus on mum stuff the rest of the time.

[ThePomegranateGrl]

Gosh- I SO "get it". It's always a struggle. When I'm working, I am thinking about the kid, when I am with the kid, I am thinking about work. Sometimes I never do either 100%. My heart obviously leans towards home, but I love the challenge of working (not that home is not, it's just different). You really said it well and made me feel not so alone. Thank you!

[Jacqui]

LMAO...ahhh I hear you, hun.

It is the neverending-ness of it that gets to me. I do enjoy crafty sessions, and there's some games I like playing - tho not every day.

But yes there are times when I could put my desires first instead of constantly putting what I WANT on the back seat and being a mum first and then a childminder second.

Jx

[Motheriam]

Oh, thank you oh so much for this! I am currently trying to get back into work, but the only time I can is at night once the babe is in bed. And even then, it's all just half-a**ed. During the day, I long for a "break to work". Ironic, isn't it?! Most people want a break from work, but mummy's at home want a break from just that.
Good to be assured there are other parents (I'm sure there are men too) who feel the same way.

[Tanhaines@yahoo.com]

It is so nice to hear these sentiments that I can completely relate to. As I write this, I believe I have stopped what I am doing about 17 times. I just keep telling myself that they won't be this little ( and needy, I hope) forever. Although it does feel like it at times. Now back to eating some Pom-Pom "soup" and reading a story about pumpkins.

[Sam@HappyHomebird]

Totally get this. I am trying to set up a work from home situation but it's impossible. By the time my 2yo is in bed and I'm free it's 10pm. Also, daytime naps suddenly only happen if i'm lying next to him & there is no sneaking away. Frustrating and sometimes I find my mind drifting to my design ideas when I should be playing let's hide in the closet for the 100th time. *sigh*

Sam x

[Helen]

I don't even work and I still have this feeling - as you say there are days when I just want to be 'doing something else'. I made the mistake of getting absorbed in a really good book last week and that made me a terrible mother. I just wanted John to leave me alone so that I could read a few more pages! I suppose there will always be something luring us away from the monotony of time spent with little ones.

[Slugs On The Refrigerator]

oh, I can not stand to be interrupted when i read, particularly when its a good book.  Its one of the reason's I've stopped reading as much...

[happyjustdoing]

Oh, yes, I get it too. Thank you so much for this post; just what I needed to read today
xx

[Jenni @ Baa-me Kniits]

I call it Groundhog Day ;-)

[domesticali]

Oh I hear you. It's hard. But it does come to an end. Keep the faith (and your sanity).

[Slugs On The Refrigerator]

Sanity went ages ago! Oh well, I obviously didn't need it!

www.slugsontherefrigerator.com

[Natalie B]

I am a mother of three (4, 2 and a half and 8 months). I've just started a blog and I am going through precisely what you talk about. It's exactly the same. I'm finding juggling work satisfaction and juggling the needs of the children and housework so difficult. I'm irritable, short tempered, fed up. I just want to get by blog established and press pause on everything else, but that's not life.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone and today I'll be putting work to one side to concentrate on my family.

Wish me luck! Your website is gorgeous by the way and I'll be following you on bloglovin. My mum and mother in law would definitely like to have a go at your beautiful designs I'm sure.

Natalie
www.accidentalmogul.blogspot.com